Overwhelmed

I wish i could end my job here and now. I'm in a searching of innerself and still thinking what to do with my life now. Writing this blog again since my last review. i almost deleted it last year. Thinking of no benefits and now, Here I AM AGAIN.

There has been a a lot of things happened in my life now. Got married, got a kid and and got a pretty good job with a good pay which I'm intending to let go, because of workload never ending. maybe i did not organised myself well. just like my Mama always told her children " ORGANIZE YOURSELF". I get it now.

I am a pemphigus vulgaris patient. got diagnosed last March 2015 with high dosage of steroids that i have to take until now. my next appointment is on 12th May 2016 which i have not yet apply for leave. thinking to take 1 whole day since my daughter need to take her jab as well which i have delayed it due to my illness. i am not happy with whats going on now, bt i'm glad that i still alive.

I always ask myself, WHY ME? WHY I HAVE TO THROUGH ALL THIS? WHAT CAN'T IT BE ANYONE ELSE BUT ME? I JUST GOT A FAMILY, AND YET TO ENJOY THE MOMENT, WHY ME? believe me,  i still figure it out why. Yes, i know that every human being will have 1 BIG trial in their life, and now its my moment. I feel like life is unfair, but who are we to question Allah. He is the most merciful and He has a better plan for me. just have a faith on Him.

I need a break. I need a rest. for how long? not sure..

S.A.T-->SUCKS.ANGRY.TIRED

Been awhile x update my blog..quite bosan today..always do the same old thing..my body need rest for such a long tyme..been working hard but the benefit still the same..wont change a thing..i need a new resolution..any suggestions??

well,i been applying loan to buy a new car..thinking of buying myVI which will be under my name..how excited i got wen i knew the car will be mine..but now its fading..u know why?cos its been 3 weeks already since i applied but still no response..mcm malas nak pikir pun ade..losing hope for that..pity mama how she always talked about myVI with different versions..how she wanted that car..but tue laa dia..x tahu ape dah jd with the loan..bank x call,the dealer x call gak..nothing!!hopeless!!angry!!tense!!

All i wanna do now is to go home..spring cleaning my room,take hot bath, eat, chill with family and sleep..tomorrow will be another damn day to go through..another boring job and officially my life sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big things =)

Its been a while x update my blog..last tyme was in april ryte?well, nothing big things happen lately to me except:-

• Akif's wedding..

At last, the moment of truth in his life..he's married to the woman in his dream, Siti Hajar on 26 October 2008..the wedding was held at Kajang hall..can say, many people attended the wedding..n also the biggest opening house which we ever done..mama's idea..so i invited some of friends to attend the wedding.. but, no one shown up except Travis n din..n i have a lot of fun there..About the bride,I dun really like her but now i have to..because she's one of the family now. n in the family we dun hateeach other..the basic principle in the family..but yeah..i bully her as much as i can..cos my bro used to bullied me an yeah..the revenge go to the wife..hahahaha...sounds so cruel..xde laa..saje je ckp mcm tue..she is a nice gurl..x reti nak mingle cos dia agak pendiam orangnya..so, the new bride n groom live at my house..has been for 2 weeks + now..n u know wat??i have to share bathroom with them..so every morning, have t let them to d their things 1st..so by 6.45am br laa i boleh mandi..okay okay, enuf taalking about them..

• Babah n Mama's birthday

Recently,my beloved parents hv turned to 51 n 50 years of age respectively..n they have been married for 28years..still going strong..i didnt get them anything..yet..but nad did...only for mama..she got mama body shop, shower set..from head t toe..cost her alot..pity her..she said that the present represent the siblings..hmm..got to pay her back i guess..babah got mama a ring..beauty gold ring..cost him alot too..he brought me to choose the ring..we've got a few selections but then, we chose the ring which has chinese design on it..how to explain in a good way..?well, i guess, i'll pick a picture of those n paste it here..As for babah birthday, we didnt get him anything..we just g for a lovely dinner at Lemongrass which located at Metropoint..the food is nice but still cannot compete my favourite restaurant, Cozy restaurant..hehehe..But akif paid the bill..his first treat to the family b4 getting married.. (Alamak,story kelam kabut sket. too many too write..sorry)

• Muhammad and I

We have gone strong for 8 months now..n my life is getting much better..wanna know why..??cos i have him t support me wenever i'm down..he even give me strenghth t move on..he's like the 2nd family in my life..someone that i can rely on..he has met my family rec ently on my convocation n looks like my family likes him..he even had lunch with us.. actually, he doesnt want t go but i force him to come along..n now every single day he will send regards t them..i'm so happy..

• My new job

My last blog was talking about my practical training..how the people is n these n that..bla bla bal..well, i did finished my training there on 30/9/2008 b4 raya..they did offered to me to continue there on contract basis with RM1000 basic salary..but i'd turn them down becos of the mileage..cant stand the mileage actually.. have t take 2 trains per day..the expenses is too high..hmm..well, i got a new job nearby..as asisstant accountant..basic salary RM1100..n much better,i can drive here..so i dun have t worry about getting trains early..but pity nad..she has t g through all dat alone again..kalau x ade i as train partner..hehehe..the workplace is good..love the interior of the office..comfy like home...n i have my own cmputer with speaker n i could do anythhing with it..feels much welcome here..of course, politics here is a bit strong but i dun mind..plus, its Uncle Kamal's office..hehehe..

Well,nothing much to say here..n above are the big things that happened to me lately..for the upcoming events will also be written here..take care bloggers..Muaxxx!!

Tired laaa....

wow..a tiring day for me..i have started my practical for da last two days..so far, i could adapt with the environment, collegues n the work itself..still havent touch the difficult part yet..hmm, what should i say about this company??well, its a located at bangsar.. not far from lrt bangsar..go to work by train nowdays<==this one also i have to adapt..no cars for me anymore..the collegues are very friendly n helpful..actually, there are only 8 of us in this company..so we have to help each other in order to keep the work done..so far, i have been partnered with kak adawiyah to do the bank reconciliation..i tell you, this work look very easy by actually its tough once you make mistakes..you know why??because when you have mistakes, you have to start all over the processes..wanna know more?call me then..hehe..wont tell you here..

what else huh??hmm...right now, i'm at nad's office waiting her to finished her work..and i'm sooooo hungryyyyy...try to open friendster website..but cannot because being blocked by office admin..this evening, i managed to talk to travis..we had a nice chat..plus laughing n so on..miss him though..dunno wen to meet him..well, i guess thats all for now kot..got to perform maghrib prayer..chowww....

FICC

nothing much to say here..br balek from the Financial Investment Challenge Camp or FICC at UKM..penat sgt nie..supposed tido kat sana but decided to balek college n sambung tdo kat bilek sabrina..the camp was so bored n tiring..yelaa, mana x nyaa...duduk jee dlm dewan..n the presenters plak pon boring..ade yg mumble sorg2 laa, ade yg nak guna mic sendiri laa..ish,mcm2 laa..but, there was a presenter that i loved most..she was sooo funny...she was talking about grooming...from head to toe..also explained about gestures, personality n so on laa..xpe, later i will write about my personality in dis blog..thats all kot for now..tired laa : (

Moral of today

what a day..my first experienced interview..its sucks dowh..didnt expect that the interviewer easked so many questions on the subjects..at first, it goes smoothly then he began to asked me questions like define this n that n whats the different between this n that..wow, its freaking me out because i didnt review those things you know..but overall, i should say thank you Allah because giving me the chance for the interview...at least i know already what to expect when it comes to interview session..but,what i like about the interviewer is dat...he is cool,very informal n gives hints when certain questions are too difficult too anwers..he even did recap about the interview n gives me a few tips and advise....he said he call me tomorrow to inform the result..i guess i knw the result already..but its still good experience though...the moral that i learned today is that always prepare yourself(meaning to say that, review all the relevant subjects n study it well,even the small things)because you will never know what will come out in the interview..

DeDiCatEd tO...

What if I wanted to break

Laugh it all off in your face

What would you do?

What if I fell to the floor?

Couldn’t take this anymore

What would you do, do, do?

Come break me down

Bury me, bury me

I am finished with you

What if I wanted to fight

Beg for the rest of my life

What would you do? (do, do)

You say you wanted more

What are you waiting for?

I’m not running from you

Come break me down

Bury me, bury me

I am finished with you

Look in my eyes

You’re killing me, killing me

All I wanted was you

I tried to be someone else

But nothing seemed to change

I know now, this is who I really am inside

Finally found myself

Fighting for a chance

I know now, this is who I really am

Come break me down

Bury me, bury me

I am finished with you, you, you

Look in my eyes

You’re killing me, killing me

All I wanted was you

Come break me down

Break me down

Break me down

What if I wanted to break?

I dedicate this song to my beloved family...loved this song :)

p/s:do not feel offended darls..