Tuesday, May 3, 2016


I wish i could end my job here and now. I'm in a searching of innerself and still thinking what to do with my life now. Writing this blog again since my last review. i almost deleted it last year. Thinking of no benefits and now, Here I AM AGAIN.

There has been a a lot of things happened in my life now. Got married, got a kid and and got a pretty good job with a good pay which I'm intending to let go, because of workload never ending. maybe i did not organised myself well. just like my Mama always told her children " ORGANIZE YOURSELF". I get it now.

I am a pemphigus vulgaris patient. got diagnosed last March 2015 with high dosage of steroids that i have to take until now. my next appointment is on 12th May 2016 which i have not yet apply for leave. thinking to take 1 whole day since my daughter need to take her jab as well which i have delayed it due to my illness. i am not happy with whats going on now, bt i'm glad that i still alive.

I always ask myself, WHY ME? WHY I HAVE TO THROUGH ALL THIS? WHAT CAN'T IT BE ANYONE ELSE BUT ME? I JUST GOT A FAMILY, AND YET TO ENJOY THE MOMENT, WHY ME? believe me,  i still figure it out why. Yes, i know that every human being will have 1 BIG trial in their life, and now its my moment. I feel like life is unfair, but who are we to question Allah. He is the most merciful and He has a better plan for me. just have a faith on Him.

I need a break. I need a rest. for how long? not sure..

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